Festive fuck all.
#FESTIVEFUCKALL
#SAYNOTOJUNKMILES
Every year since 2010, people have been getting a bit too wound up in trying to clock up 500 kilometres of riding between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. It started in the South of England as a way for some guys to feel superior to their mates but in the ten years since, it has grown into a global excercise in junk miles consumption and willy waving.
In 2020 we would like to throw down the gaunlet of a fresh challenge - the #festivefuckall. Don't get embroiled in logging the kilometres and riding in crappy conditions when you could be spending valuable time with your family (well, two households worth of them anyway). We're not saying don't ride, not in the slightest. Winter rides can be some of the best of the year, but concenrate on enjoying your riding, as much or as little as it may be. Remember that there's more important things in life so don't feel guilty if you can't be arsed with that 6 hour ride in the sleet. Sack it off, crack open a beer, eat some stollen cake, destroy a selection box, eat too much cheese, spend time with folks that matter to you.
To take up this challenge all you have to do is sign up, join our non-existant Strava group, then upload none of your ride data to it. If you sucessfully complete the challenge we will send you a commemorative sew-on badge that you can use to cover that hole you ripped in your best winter tights when you came off on the ice just as you realised that staying in bed for an extra hour on Boxing Day would've been the right idea.
It's free to sign up, just a small optional fee of £2.00 to cover the p&p if you want a sexy commemorative sew-on badge.
BUY SOME MERCH
It's been a tough old year for us folks that try to organise real life events and races. If you'd like to show us a little support to help us keep going over this barren Winter and be able to put things on again in person next year why not treat yourself to a t-shirt? Priced at £17 each including UK p&p available to order from the sign up page. Items will be shipped late December, probably when the sew on badges go out. Cheers, you are lovely aren't you?
Say No To Junk Miles
If Zammo rode a bike with a power meter and carbon wheels this is what Jackie would be telling him right now.
Everyone Loves a #
Show the general public how by not caring you probably really do care but want to appear cooler than you really are.
Limey Fists
The timeless grace and beauty of the Monster Cross logo carefully positioned on the chest of a cotton T-shirt for maximum viewing pleasure.
SHARE YOUR STORIES
If you want you can share you experiences on and off the bike with the #festivefuckall and #saynotojunkmiles tags but don't feel obliged to. Some people might care or find it mildly amusing, maybe not, so do crack on if you like.